The Most Effective Group-Chat-Ending Texts | News Fission

It kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

I’m sure we all have a lot to add right now.

Feel free to respond with your take. I’ve set aside the evening.

Who can share some larger, related concerns?

I’ve always believed that all’s well that ends well!

How is everyone?

This is directed at just one of you, but I’ve decided to also involve the group.

I almost have a complete first draft of a comment I’ve been working on for days. The next person to respond will receive a personalized sneak preview!

Just composed a comment on a contentious, evolving current event. The next person to respond gets to play devil’s advocate.

ICYMI I am typing . . .

I’m on fire. Can someone help? No worries either way.

I’m on fire and here’s a link to an article explaining why I meant that figuratively.

This one is more creative nonfiction, actually.

Who can offer insight on some of the ways you feel I’ve grown as a person?

Who can confirm that they are, in fact, angry at me?

How would you best describe your level of anger with me? For those choosing to remain silent, I’ll put down “quasar-like.”

On the count of three, let’s acknowledge that we’re all sitting at a table together reading this message on our phones.

I’m trying not to stare at one of you in particular for reasons we both know.

I’m trying not to stare at some of you for reasons nobody knows.

If you speak up right now, loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear, on the topic of what the twenty-first century has done to our collective attention span and need for affirmation, I will, too.


Are my texts coming through?

Ping me if you noticed that what I’m holding in my hand is actually an early-nineties cordless phone with an extendable antenna.

There is much to impart.

Has anyone noticed the family at the booth next to us? They haven’t said a word all evening!

My D.M.s are always open.

Can an exchanged message ever exist in the present, or is it always addressing the immediate past?

Sounds good.


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